(3 lessons I learnt from All The Way To The Finish Line)
Last week, my now great friend, Santiago Piqueres (filmmaker and producer of the documentary….and this new website), and I, had the pleasure of hosting around 30 of our close friends, family and clients at my place of work, Well Bath Health and Wellbeing Centre, for the launch of the All The Way To The Finish Line documentary.
We were honoured to receive some incredible feedback on the film. We knew how good it was but it’s easy to feel doubtful that others feel the same as you until you get actual validation. Santi and I sat together in my garden after the event, beside a fire and soaked up the good energy we had been afforded at having completed the project so successfully.
At the end of 2016, having experienced a profoundly intense mental and emotional breakdown, I found myself in a place I can only describe as Hell. I knew what I had experienced wasn’t normal by other people’s standards. Indeed, it was deeply troubling for many of my loved ones. Nonetheless, experienced it I had. Amongst the many things that tormented me in that time, one of the biggest fears I had was that what I’d experienced might have been for nothing- a figment of an imagination being formed in a malfunctioning brain!
It’s taken more than 5 years to feel ready enough to start to reveal this story, and All The Way To The Finish Line is the first real step in that process. I am ready to be seen again.
For so long all I did was try to be seen, I made myself BIG and BRASH to make myself visible. Operating in that way eventually broke me down. On Thursday night, I revealed myself again, but on terms I’d agreed with myself before the unveiling.
This last 5 years has brought me much awareness. One such realisation is that if I wish to be seen, I have to first see myself. When I commissioned Santi to make the film, I thought it was all about making other people see me, but what has happened has been so much deeper.
In watching the film (which I have done 4 or 5 times now) I have been able to do something that is not commonly done. I’ve been able to watch myself. Usually we look out, watched only by others. The film shows me going about my normal life, working with clients, interacting with my family, doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and spending time birdwatching. Getting that point of view has been enlightening and contributed hugely to my personal growth. Here are the things I’ve learnt;
I’m sure as I watch this film again and again, I’ll gain more insight into myself- there are always deeper depths that can be reached within our infinite selves. Santi has produced something that I’m incredibly proud to have go out into the world and that will add a small contribution to the already underway, ever-quickening and totally unstoppable awakening of humankind. You can watch it here.
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